Broken Wings
by songstress42
Summary: I was eleven when my parents were killed. I took it really hard, but not half so hard as my sixyearold brother. AU, lots of Don&Charlie angst.
1. Chapter 1

Broken Wings

I was eleven when my parents were killed. I took it really hard but not half so hard as my six-year-old brother. Perhaps it was because he was the baby. Perhaps it was that his genius mind in all its glory couldn't comprehend the fact that our parents weren't with us anymore. Perhaps it was that fact that he had been right there with them in the car when a guy who'd had one too many ran a red light. Whatever the reason, he was affected infinitely more than I and perhaps, in a desperate effort to preserve the one remaining part of his old life against the inevitable tide of change, he clung to me and I in turn sheltered him. I am my brother's keeper. It is a duty that I have committed myself to since that fateful day when a stranger in a blue uniform explained to me why my parents were two hours late picking me up from baseball practice.

You may say I'm paranoid, domineering, overprotective even, in the desperate way in which I watch over my brother, but if you knew how close I came to losing him to his demons forever the one time, the _one_ time I let him out of my sight, you wouldn't be so quick to judge. I have been his caretaker for more than twenty-five years and I ain't about to quit. Just you try and stop me.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Broken Wings

Author: Songstress42

Spoilers: Up to midway through the third season.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, just Sandy and Bob. Everyone else spawned from the brilliant minds of Nicolas Falacci and Cheryl Heuton and I am eternally grateful for that.

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I opened the door and stepped into my front hall, shutting the door behind me and dropping my keys on the side table. The house was dark but I knew Charlie was there. I made my way through the silent house and out into the backyard.

When my parents died, they left the both of us this house. It's an original craftsman situated in the center of Pasadena and both Charlie and myself were born here. We didn't gain custody of it until I was eighteen, but we still visited it often when we were kids. The back yard is Charlie's favorite place in the whole world. We have a Koi pond and Charlie spends every waking hour there, you know, when he's not spending every walking hour in the garage doing math.

That's where I headed. The garage has become Charlie's haven. His sanctuary if you will, it's were he's most comfortable and at ease. I opened the door and stepped inside quietly. Charlie was at one of his many chalkboards scrawling with a furiousness that only madmen and geniuses can pull off. Most days I'm not sure which category is more suited for my brother.

"Charlie." I called softly but he didn't here me. I saw that he was wearing his headphones so no wonder. I momentarily considered walking over and physically establishing my presence but then I remembered the last time I snuck up on him, and I really wasn't in the mood to deal with a panic attack. The idea of tapping him on the shoulder didn't even cross my mind. The one thing you don't want to do is make physical contact with my brother without his permission. Trust me, if you thought that scene in Rain Man, when Dustin Hoffman starts freaking out at the running water was scary, you've never seen my brother. Instead I backed out and headed back inside to start making dinner. Charlie would emerge eventually.

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Sure enough, just as I was putting the chicken in the oven, I heard the kitchen door open and I turned to see Charlie walk in.

"Evening Chuck, how was your day."

Most people would wonder why I even bothered greeting Charlie. His head was down, his curly hair obscuring his face, his gaze fixed firmly on the floor. His arms were wrapped around his middle in a self-hug as if he were trying to make himself as small as possible. To the casual observer it looked like he didn't want to talk, like he didn't want to be there at all, but I knew better. That's the way he always looks. That's just how Charlie is.

Just to prove my point, Charlie chose that moment to speak.

"Don't call me Chuck. And my day was fine. How was yours?" Charlie hardly ever speaks louder than a whisper but I could still hear the smile in his voice. He was in a good mood.

"Fine. Sandy and Bob asked after you. They wondered if you would visit again soon."

Sandy and Bob are two of the people who frequent the center I work at. It's for both mentally and physically disabled people. Charlie hangs out there a lot even though he's not actually disabled in anyway. Still, he does have severe emotional problems that prevent him from interacting with people in a normal way and the center allows him to act the way he wants to without the embarrassment of people staring and muttering and asking stupid questions. That thing about Charlie is that he knows how he is and what that looks like to the casual observer. He just can't stop himself from being that way.

"That's nice of them. Tell them I'll come as soon as I can."

That means he'll come as soon as he feels ready.

"Oh, and Larry called. He wondered if you'd meet with one of his students She's writing her thesis and is apparently a big fan of yours. He hoped he could arrange some sort of meeting for you soon." I looked up and saw trepidation in Charlie's eyes. He's not comfortable with the concept of meeting new people, "She's cool with coming over here if that's what you want."

Charlie's expression softened somewhat and he nodded.

"Okay, I'll set that up." Dr. Lawrence Fleinhardt is a professor of Physics at CalSci. Most of the work Charlie does is for them and Larry is perhaps the one other person on this planet besides me who Charlie is completely comfortable with. It's because Larry has never once seemed bothered by Charlie's many eccentricities, although that is probably because Larry has so many of them himself. From the moment the two of them met when Larry first came to teach at CalSci he immediately accepted that fact that Charlie had issues and instead speaking to Charlie in a way that no one in his field had ever done. He began speaking to him like and equal and not some idiot savant, as the academic community so often perceived Charlie. Hell, he was the only non-Epps ever to set foot in that garage since we moved back in here so he was a good guy in my books.

"Don?" Charlie's soft voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah buddy?"

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

It took me a few seconds to realize he was referring to dinner.

"Yeah buddy, do you want to make the salad?"

He nodded and I retrieved everything from the fridge as Charlie went to grab the lettuce spinner and a cutting board. I watched my brother as he began tearing the lettuce and slicing the vegetables. I thought of all the ways people have seen Charlie throughout the years. The pride I used to see in my parents eyes. The wonder and amazement of strangers when Charlie would wow them with his genius. The sympathy after the accident. The sympathy now when they see me having to calm him over something as simple as a walk down a crowded street. If only they could see him now, making salad, talking to his brother about his day. Now when he's no more different than any of us. This is how I see him. And then they could see the pride in my eyes, and they'd see him as normal too.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N So this story does have a Charlie/Amita Sub-story to it. I hope that doesn't upset anyone.

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Amita gazed out the passenger window of Larry's antique car and up at the house in front of which they were parked. It was beautiful with its craftsman look and its warm, inviting air. She stepped out onto the sidewalk and watched the many children running up and down the streets in the late morning sun, enjoying the first days of the summer holidays.

"Come along Amita." Larry said and she hurried up the front walk to where he was already waiting on the porch.

Larry must have already rung the bell because no sooner had Amita come to a stop than the front door was opened by a nice looking man in his mid thirties.

"Amita this is Don Epps, Charlie's older brother. Don, this is Amita my former student. She is currently pursuing a doctorate in computational mathematics."

Don and Amita both smiled and shook hands.

"Thank you for agreeing to let me come, I've heard so much about your brother I was really excited when I found out that Larry actually knew him and was friends with him. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you've been able to set this up."

Don smiled and ushered them inside.

"You don't have to thank me. Any friend of Larry's is a friend of ours."

Don lead the two scientist through the old craftsman house and out the back door.

The back yard was expansive and Amita smiled appreciatively at the flowers and foliage that bloomed all around her.

"Do you garden Don?" she asked as she followed him towards the garage.

"Not really, I help Charlie out sometimes but this garden is really his. I think it's his way of remembering our mother though he's never actually spoken about it." They had reached the garage door and Don turned to face her and Larry before opening it, "Just so you know Charlie doesn't say very much and he also doesn't like to look people directly in the eyes so sometimes it might seem like he's not paying attention to you, when really, he is."

Amita nodded.

"Larry's told me a lot about your brother Mr. Epps."

"Don please." He said with a smile.

Amita smiled back and nodded a second time.

Turning, Don entered the garage and Larry followed, Amita taking up the rear. The garage was messy, dusty, and full of math. Chalkboards lined the walls and stacks of papers filled every available counter space. Amita loved it. After visually exploring the room, her gaze eventually settled on a figure in the far corner, writing furiously on a chalkboard and completely oblivious to their presence.

"Charlie?" Don asked loudly, scuffing his feet along the ground as he moved slowly towards his brother.

Larry whispered in her ear, "Charlie doesn't like to be startled. So it's important that you never sneak up on him." 

"What happens if I do?" Amita asked with a certain amount of humor in her tone.

Larry looked back with nothing but seriousness in his expression.

"You don't want to know. Oh, and Charles also doesn't like to be touched so make sure you always keep a good amount of distance between you and him. He is very protective of his personal space."

Amita was starting to feel a little nervous. And it had nothing to do with the fact that Charlie was as close to being a celebrity as one could get within the academic community. There were so many rules on how to behave around the mysterious Charles Epps and she was beginning to fear that she might forget one of them and something awful would come of it.

At the other end of the garage Don had gotten Charlie's attention. He was now turned so that Amita and Larry could see him in profile.

"Hey buddy, Amita's here. Remember, the grad student Larry wanted you to meet. We talked about this a few days ago."

Amita watched as Charlie nodded, still staring at the board beside him.

"She's right over there. See? Don't be afraid she won't bite."

Charlie smiled and slowly, almost shyly turned his head in her direction. His gaze gradually rose to meet hers and she was mesmerized by the blackness of his eyes. His hair fell in soft ringlets around his face and his expression seemed hesitant and at the same time eager. He only glanced at her a moment before turning his eyes to the floor. Don took him gently by the arm and led him over to where she stood with Larry.

"Charlie, this is Amita…Ramanujan?" he stumbled a bit over her last name, something she was especially used to and she nodded her approval at the end result, "Amita, this is my younger brother Charlie Epps."

Amita held out her hand without thought, remembering when he didn't immediately accept it what Larry had said about Charlie's aversion to physical contact. She began to lower it again when to her surprise, not to mention Don's and Larry's, Charlie's hand came up and grasped hers.

"It's nice to meet you Charlie."

Charlie smiled shyly and nodded in agreement.

"I've heard a lot about you."

Charlie's smile grew even more bashful and his cheeks took on a distinctly pink hue.

Before an uncomfortable silence could descend on the small party, Larry spoke up.

"Fellow scientist, before you dive into the depths of advanced mathematics I would like to have a short word with young Epps regarding a project he's been helping me with, if you wouldn't mind Amita."

"Oh not at all Larry."

As Larry lead Charlie over to one of the other far boards, Don turned to Amita.

"He likes you."

"You think?"

"Oh yeah, he doesn't just shake hands with anyone." Don smiled and Amita smiled back. She still hadn't shaken the feeling that she was going to mess up somehow. As if reading her mind, Don put a comforting hand on her shoulder and said, "Hey, everything's going to be fine alright? Don't worry, it'll make you feel tense and Charlie will be more likely to react badly to something, but if you're calm and having fun, everything will be alright."

He gave her another smile and Amita actually found herself relaxing beneath his reassuring gaze. No wonder Charlie was so close to his brother, this man exhumed confidence and control and most importantly, caring. She smiled and nodded.

"Thanks."

"No problem. You've also got the added bonus being able to talk to Charlie about math. And I wasn't kidding when I said he liked you. I've only seen Charlie look at another girl like that once. It's an expression he usually reserves for his precious equations."

They both laughed.

"Who was it?" Amita asked.

"Who was what?"

"The girl?"

"Oh, she was Charlie's foster sister when he was seven."

"Oh." Larry had told her the basics of the tragedy that had taken away both of the Epps parents, "What happened?"

Don's face became suddenly sad and he opened his mouth soundlessly. Not sure of what to say. Amita felt herself treading on dangerous territory.

"It's okay. I'm sorry I asked it's really none of my business."

Don nodded, the pained look still present on his face, and they stood in awkward silence for a few seconds until Larry walked over and said that he was done.

"Alright then." Don said clearing his throat, "Have fun you to, Larry and I will be in the house if either of you need anything."

And with that the two men left the garage and Amita and Charlie were alone.

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I smiled to myself as I made my way across the lawn towards my brother and his newfound friend who were sitting out in the sunshine by the Koi pond. Amita was talking and gesturing, her face smiling and happy. Charlie was quiet as usual but there was something different about him. He was looking at Amita, actually making eye contact and listening intently, his expression one of…happiness. An expression not usually worn by my brother. My smile widened and I felt kind of bad about interrupting them.

"I made lunch."

Amita looked up and smiled.

"Oh wow! That's so nice of you."

Charlie looked at me and smiled too. I smiled back.

"Well, it's so nice out here I thought we could have and impromptu picnic."

I stopped and Larry, who had followed me out from the house, put down the pitcher of lemonade he was carrying and spread out the large blanket from our upstairs linen closet.

"Wow," Amita said, walking over to where Larry had spread out the blanket, "Thank you Don that's so kind."

"Oh it was nothing." I replied putting down the tray loaded with sandwiches and salad and passing her a plate. She thanked me and I passed one to Charlie too who had sat down beside her. He nodded his thanks and stayed silent through most of the meal, which was otherwise rife with conversation.

When the food was gone, Charlie and Larry retreated to the pond to discuss more of the work Charlie was doing for Larry and Amita turned towards me.

"Thank you again for being so kind and letting me meet your brother, I can see how hard it might be to let strangers into Charlie's garage and I can't tell you how glad I am that you let me."

I smiled at her and shook my head.

"I'm just glad you're here. It's not every year you get a real genuine smile out of my brother and it's nice to see him talking to someone other than Larry or myself."

She seemed to sober at that comment and hesitated before opening her mouth to speak.

"Don, I was just wondering and you can completely tell me it's none of my business because I'm sure it is but, I'm curious why Charlie is the way he…is. I mean, was it just trauma from the accident with your parents or did something…else happen?"

"Like what?" I asked, not because she was wrong but because I wanted to see where she was coming from.

"I mean like..."She paused and seemed almost embarrassed to continue. I decided to go easy on her.

"Like brain damage?" I knew that's what she was getting at because almost everyone who's ever met Charlie has asked just that question. Sure enough, her gaze snapped up from where she was staring at her glass of lemonade and her cheeks redden just slightly.

"It's okay, you're not the first to ask that. The answer is, no. I mean, he did have a little concussion, which may have slightly damaged his ability to process emotion but not to any great extent. No what Charlie suffers from is purely PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder. A very severe form of it." I paused, not sure if I should go on but she got on so well with Charlie I figured she should probably know the truth, though maybe not the whole truth. There weren't many people who knew the whole truth. Not even Larry. "It wasn't just caused by the accident although that's were it all started. After my parents died Charlie just shut down. He stopped speaking. Even to me. For almost a year he said nothing. He just went to school, and did math. He had already been bumped up several grades but by the age of seven, he and I were in the same class. And I'm five year older than him."

"That's horrible." Amita said softly, all traces of mirth gone from her face, "You two went into foster care right?"

"Yeah. We have an aunt but she couldn't take care of us so we were sent into foster care. It first they tried to keep us together, it was clear that Charlie couldn't be separated from me but after the first couple of families, it became hard to find people who would take in more than one child at a time. Especially when one was as emotionally damaged as Charlie was. So about a year after the accident, Charlie and I were separated. I went to live with a family in North Hollywood and Charlie was sent to Silver Lake. We tried to get together as often as we could. I would ride my bike over there everyday after school to be with him. He was actually starting to get better, this was when he met Jill, the foster sister I told you about." She nodded her head, "but then something happened and it all came crashing down."

"What happened?"

I looked down and away, not sure if I was ready to reveal my brother's deep, dark secret just yet. She seemed to get the hint and said, "It's okay, you don't have to tell me."

I nodded my thanks.

"So," Se said changing the subject, "What exactly do you do for a living Don?"

"Oh, well I work with disabled people at a center a couple of blocks from here."

"Oh wow, that's pretty convenient."

"It is it's very handy 'cus Charlie spends most of his time here so it's easy for me to come home during my lunch break and check up on him. And he occasionally comes to visit me at the center, usually when he suffered from a mental block of some kind and needs to get out of the garage."

"It's so great that you're so close after all you've been through. You must be a terrific big brother."

"Well, I'm all Charlie's got. And he's all I got. Besides, I'll never forget last thing my mom said to me before she died."

"What did she say?"

"It was the first day of school after summer and my mom dropped us off. She told me to take care of Charlie, that I was his big brother and I had to set an example. She told me to look out for him. And then she drove away and I never saw her again. Well not alive anyway."

"God, I'm so sorry." Amita said softly, pulling me out of my memories.

"Me too." I said, looking over to where Charlie sat with Larry, writing equations on a legal pad he'd somehow acquired. I watched as he stared at the paper, his expression set in one of furious concentration. I watched as he once again fell into the world he was so comfortable in, the world so far from our own, "Me too."

A few hours later saw Larry and Amita driving off down the street, Amita waving out the window and promising to come again soon. Charlie waved back as he clung to me, my arm wrapped firmly around his shoulders. We stood in the doorway for a few seconds after the car disappeared from view and my brother said in his whispery voice.

"I really like her."

I smiled.

"You know something Chuck, I think she really likes you too."


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